


Starry Eyes

by ohlookatthestars



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Daddy Dean, Dean Has a Daughter, F/F, F/M, Fluff, High School, M/M, Meeting Again, Single Parent Dean, Teacher!Dean, also jealous dean, nurse!Cas, past dean and cas relationship, pining for each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 01:06:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5987056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohlookatthestars/pseuds/ohlookatthestars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas were head over heels for each other in high school but one day, Cas walks out on everything, running away to Stanford where he meets Sam and has a life. He thought he got over Dean. Until one day Dean visits Sam... and brings his two year old daughter. Dean thought he was over Cas as well, until he saw those starry eyes once again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. September 18th, 2003

**Author's Note:**

> by the way Halley is pronounced Hailey but it's spelled like that for a reason, you'll see *rubs hands together evilly*
> 
> anyway, this is a cute fic I wrote. hope you like it. i'll try and update frequently.

September 18th, 2003

Dean could not stop thinking about how worried he was. John and Sam got in a huge fight about college and Sam actually ran away. He just left. He left Dean with John here in Kansas and went off to California, apparently. Bobby and Ellen picked him up at a bus stop in Colorado and took him to live with them at the Roadhouse in California. Apparently Sam begged them not to take him back to Kansas and Bobby thought it would be a good idea. Dean had agreed but at the same time, he had to look out for the kid and how was he supposed to do that when he's stuck being sixteen in his junior year of high school, not even close to graduating. Dean couldn't stand being stuck here, but that was that. Sam was safe and that's all that mattered to Dean.

He sat in his astronomy class, taking notes absentmindedly. Usually he'd be attentive, wanting to absorb all the information about the stars above his head but he was just to tired of being worried. Halfway through the class the door opened and a boy with dark hair that looked almost purposely messy walked in timidly. Dean looked up and met his eyes. He felt like he was drowning in the blues of his irises. The boy was absolutely beautiful. Dean stared as the boy walked over to the teacher and handed him a bright yellow piece of paper that was obviously a schedule. 

As everyone turned to whisper to their friends Dean tried to hear what the boy was nervously mumbling. It was something about him being a sophomore and that he was new to the school. Dean couldn't hear a name but looking around he noticed the closest seat to the front was next to Dean and he just prayed the beautiful blue eyed boy would pick that seat. The teacher nodded and smiled at the boy, gesturing for him to choose a seat. Dean sat up straighter and tried to look friendly. The boys eyes brushed over the seat next to him and Dean smiled at him timidly. Cas took his schedule back and slowly began to walk over to the seat in between Dean and the windows. Dean smiled to himself, looking down at his notes as the boy sat down, pulling out a notebook. Dean looked over to see the boy looking for a pencil. 

"Hi, I'm Dean." He introduces, holding out a dark green pencil for the boy to take. The bright eyed boy looks over disoriented, eyes landing on the pencil before taking it and looking up at Dean shyly.

"Hello, Dean. I'm Castiel Novak." He says, staring into Dean's green eyes that almost match the shade of the pencil. Dean smiles at him and goes back to taking notes with a blue pen he had on his desk. Smiling to himself he decides his day has just gotten a lot better.


	2. Did you do the astronomy homework?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean really likes space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this little chapter a lot hehe

March 12th, 2004

After that faithful day, Dean and Cas were instantly best friends and eventually it was only inevitable that they began dating that next January in 2004. 

"Hey babe," Castiel whispers, nudging Dean with his shoulder. Dean didn't look up from his astronomy textbook, too enticed in the glossary of astronomy terms. Cas nudged him again, a bit harder.

"Hm," Dean mumbled, not looking up from the page. 

"Did you do the astronomy homework?" Castiel asks, trying to look Dean in the eye.

"Yeah, of course I did." Dean mumbles out, copying the word ablation and the definition onto his notebook paper. Cas momentarily wondered if that was another assignment he forgot to do.

"Can I copy it?" Cas asks. After study hall they had astronomy and Cas just realized they had homework due today.

"Nope." Dean says, still copying definitions into his notebook. Cas crinkles his eyebrows, looking at Dean incredulously. 

"You always let me copy the homework for astronomy, why not now?" Cas asks, feeling a bit offended. Dean didn't look up at him. "Are you mad at me?"

Dean chuckles lightly, trying to keep it down as they were in the library and though there was no one around, the librarian was still very strict. Cas knits his eyebrows together again, confused. "Babe, I would let you but," Dean finally looks up, meeting Castiel's crystal blue eyes, "This homework was an opinion based writing prompt." Dean smiles.

"Oh...” Cas says, looking at Dean for a second. "Damn it!" He says a little too loud.

"Shh!" The old librarian across the room shouts back. Dean giggled at Cas' reddening face. Dramatically, Cas flops his head into his arms on the table, sighing loudly.

"What am I going to do? I don't have time to write a whole essay." Castiel pouts. Dean smiles, leaning down to kiss Cas' nose lightly.

"It'll be fine baby, Mr. James won't even notice you didn't do it." Dean assures. Cas pouts more, sighing again dramatically.

"I have to do it eventually though.. And I don't wanna.." Cas whines, turning his face to look at the table. Dean kisses his temple softly and Cas leans in to the warmth of his lips.

"How about I make you a deal?" Dean asks him, Cas turning his head to look up at him again. Dean lays his head on his arms on the table, resting his head on them like Cas and turns to him. "If you come over to my house tonight and hang out with me, I will do the essay for you and you can turn it in tomorrow for late credit." Cas frowned.

"I can't let you do my work." Cas pouts. 

"You copy my work all the time." Dean reasons.

"Yeah but that's notes or easy assignments that don't actually matter. This is an entire essay, Dean.." Cas reminds him. 

"I know and I don't want you stressing about it and not hanging out with me because of it." Dean answers, "I just want you all to myself." Dean winks.

Castiel smiles at him, "Hey, can we watch The Lord of The Rings?"

Dean chuckles and groans, pretending to be angry, "Again?"

"Please?" Cas whispers with a wide smile and Dean smiles at him and nods.

"I will only watch Lord of The Rings every single weekend for two straight months for you." Dean says and sighs, "Oh my god I have seen that movie way too many times." Dean groans, sitting up to continue copying definitions. Cas sat there, looking up at Dean and his tossled brown hair. He kept his head rested on his crossed arms as Dean read the astronomy textbook like it was a good Hemmingway novel. Castiel loved it; Dean was so interested in this one subject and it was so inspiring to Cas. Dean loved the stars so much, it was beautiful.

"Why do you like astronomy so much?" Cas asks, smiling fondly up at Dean. Dean's bright, beautifully green eyes flicker to Cas' face and shrug.

"I don't know I just... like the stars." Dean shrugged, blushing slightly. Cas giggled at Dean's shy face but didn't press him to answer.

"I don't understand, you're so intelligent yet you still slack off in all of your classes. You never do homework and sometimes you don't even show up to your classes. It's like you just come here to go to astronomy class." Cas said, genuinely confused why Dean does this.

"Well one, I'm not smart," Dean says with finality while Cas shakes his head, "and two, I will never need any of these math or history classes one day. I'm not going to college so why should I try to do better than average in all these useless classes. Sure, English is somewhat important but I don't care about those other subjects. I just wanna learn about space." Dean lectures, not looking Cas in the eyes. Dean looks down at his textbook and continues with his vocabulary. 

"You don't want college?" Cas asks, sitting up slightly. Dean shakes his head and Cas tries not to press. "I'm going to go to college and become a doctor one day." Cas says with a smile.

"You'll be a great doctor one day, Cas."


	3. Got a problem, starry eyes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean take Cas to his secret hide out to look up at the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I know right now it just seems like one-shots or something but I promise, these are developing the characters and everything and then the real story will start in like two chapters
> 
> also this is my favorite chapter lol

July 20th, 2004

Lying on the top of his roof had become a thing with Dean. Looking up at the stars and atmosphere above him brought so much peace to Dean. Bringing Cas up there with him was something he never wanted to do. To Dean, laying up on that rooftop was a private experience. It was something he didn't tell anyone about. One night though Cas had called him, crying and stressing over his college admission deadlines in a few weeks.

"Dean.." Cas whimpered through the phone once Dean picked up, groggily. Dean looked at the clock. It was almost one am and he had been sleeping peacefully until all of sudden his phone rang.

"Cas? Are you alright?" Dean asked, feeling a bit more awake at the sound of his boyfriend sniffling into the speaker.

"No, Dean. I'm freaking out about all this." Cas whispered, sounding like he'd been crying for hours. 

"Is this about your college admission thingies?" Dean questioned, running a hand through his hair. 

"Yeah... I can't stop stressing out about them. What if I can't get them done? Or what if I can't graduate and I do all this for nothing? Dean, what if-" Cas rambled, more tears pouring out of his eyes. 

"Cas, Cas, baby, calm down. Look, I'm going to come pick you up and you're going to stay at my place. You can't keep sitting in your room full of dumb college applications." Dean said, standing up and tucking the phone between his shoulder and ear so he could put on some sweatpants and socks. Cas was silent for a while and Dean almost thought he lost him until there was a sniffle on the other side of the line.

"Okay..." Cas replied weakly, voice wet with emotion even in the one word. Dean felt so sad hearing his boyfriend sounding so wrecked.

"Okay, I'll be there soon. Don't worry babe. I'm coming over." Dean assured, sounding so comforting to Cas. Dean threw on a tee shirt and quickly jumped in his car that his dad had finally given him. Of course John was gone; ran off to somewhere else for a while, for whatever reason. Soon enough Dean was walking up to Cas' house to see Castiel on the steps, wrapped in a fluffy blanket blowing his nose.

"Aw, Cas. C'mere." Dean said as he got close enough to him. Castiel looked up with red rimmed eyes and shiny blue eyes. Dean opened his arms and Cas walked into them, pulling his blanket tighter around him as Dean wrapped his long arms around him. Cas extended a hand to grip Dean's tee shirt tightly as Dean kissed his head.

"Thank you Dean.." Cas whispered into Dean's shirt.

"It's what boyfriends are for." Dean smiled, kissing Cas' hair again. Dean led Cas into his car and they drove back to Dean's place. As Cas began to climb into Dean's bed, Dean had an idea. An idea he had had before but didn't want to actually act on this idea until he saw Cas' tear-filled eyes staring up at him.

"I wanna show you something." Dean said into the silence. Cas closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"Dean... I just wanna sleep and forget everything. Please." Cas whispered, tears dripping down his face again. Dean leaned down and kissed the tears away as he gripped Cas' hand.

"I promise this will get your mind off of everything." Dean whispered, standing up straight. Cas just groaned and stood up, letting Dean lead him across the room. Dean opened his window and Cas tilted his head in that cute way that Dean loved. 

"Just follow me." Dean said with a bright smile. Cas looked skeptical though. "Just trust me, Cas."

"I trust you." Cas replied instantly. 

"Then come on." Dean said with a mischievous smile. He lifted his legs off the window and stepped onto a ledge to lift himself up onto a little patch of roof that had become Dean's safe place. Dean turned to see Cas sticking his head out the window.

"What is this? What are you doing?" Cas asked, curiously.

"It's my secret hide-away. You should feel pretty special right now, no one in the world knows about this." Dean tells him, half his face illuminated by the moon. Cas smiled widely.

"You're cute Dean." Cas tells him, carefully climbing out and hoisting himself up onto the same piece of roof Dean was on. Dean smirked, quirking his head before Cas carried on, getting comfortable on the rooftop. "Telling me your secret place like we're in kindergarten. Showing me it and telling me I'm the only person in the world who has seen it; it's cute." Cas says, smiling at Dean in the darkness. Dean blushed as he laid down on the roof like he usually did and placed his hands behind his head. Cas looked down at him and smiled. 

"Do you like laying up here because you can see the stars?" Castiel asked Dean, smiling fondly at him.

"Of course." Dean answered immediately, not looking away from the beautiful night sky. It was almost silent that night with only the sound of Dean's beautiful voice filling the silence. "Space and stars and, well everything, it's just so brilliant."

"How so?" Cas asked, knowing what he was going to say but wanting to hear him babble on like the space nerd he was. Cas leaned back and rested his head on Dean's shoulder, looking up to watch Dean talk.

"How so? Well just think about it. All these stars are thousands of years away from us and yet the light from these stars traveled roughly 7,000 years to reflect in your beautiful blue eyes." Dean explained with wide hand gestures before looking down at Cas to catch him blushing. 

"Shut up you sap." Cas giggled and Dean laughed, closing his eyes.

Dean sighed contently, "Damn, I love you.." He whispered with a wide smile on his face. Cas tensed as he heard him though.

"You-You love me?" Cas stuttered out, utterly amazed.

Dean looked down with such fondness as he said, "Of course I do. Got a problem, starry eyes?"

Cas was speechless in that moment. All he could do was pull Dean close and kiss him tenderly before pulling away and saying, "I love you too Dean Winchester."


	4. Without Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where the story turns and things start getting interesting ooo

January 19th, 2005

They were happy, they were in love. Everything was fine and dandy. Until the dreaded conversation made its appearance again and this time, for the last time.

"What do you mean you aren't going to college?" Cas snapped. It had been a long day for both of them but now that Cas was in Dean's room talking about going to Stanford for Med School and rambling on and on about how great California will be, Dean just couldn't take it.

"No, I'm not, we've had this conversation before. Now, why can't you just go to a school in Kansas?" Dean questioned.

"Come on Dean, you know Stanford is my dream school. That's all I've ever wanted." Cas told him. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Alright so... What's going to happen to us then?" Dean says and Cas never wanted to hear those words. He knew it was coming one day but he still wasn't prepared with an answer when Dean asked.

"Dean, please. I don't want to talk about that. Can we just talk about you going to college? You need to go. How else are you supposed to get a job?" Cas tried to reason.

"Cas, stop being stupid. There's plenty of jobs out there, I don't need some fancy degree from some big-name college." Dean said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Are you mocking me?" Cas asked, offended and silently put off by Dean's childish nature.

"I'm just saying I'll be fine but I'm not going to leave Kansas." Dean answered with finality. Cas crinkled his eyebrows, shocked and hurt as he put the pieces together.

"You're going to just dump me as soon as I go to Stanford?" Cas asked him, astonished. 

"I never said that.." Dean huffed but Cas was standing up already.

"No I heard what you said Dean and you told me that when I leave, you aren't coming with me." Cas practically shouted.

"Cas-" Dean tried, sighing.

"No, don't try and reason with me." Cas shouted. "You're just going to leave me! You're just going to let me walk away, and after all we've been through!"

"Cas, I can't just follow you around for the rest of my life!" Dean shouts back and Cas tenses.

"Fine then. If you aren't coming with me to Stanford. Then so be it." Cas turned to grab his backpack and pulled out an envelope. "I graduate early this year and I worked this hard for you." Cas growls through gritted teeth as tears fill his angry eyes. He shoves the envelope in Dean's chest and Dean looks at it frantically. Was this really happening to him? 

Cas began pacing around the room, picking up all his school things and shoving it in his bag as Dean opened the envelope quickly. "I worked my ass off to get early admittance to Stanford so we could go live in California together." Castiel practically shouts, clenching his jaw. "I thought we could live together Dean, I thought we'd be happy." Cas snatches the envelope out of Dean's shaking fingers. "Now I know I was just some high school fling to you." Castiel slings the backpack over his shoulder and begins to storm out of the house, a speechless Dean following him quickly. 

"So goodbye Dean Winchester, have fun living in boring old Kansas, living a boring old life, without me." Cas shouts, slamming Dean's front door in his face and practically running down the steps to walk the few blocks to his house.

Dean swung the door open after the momentary shock and watched as Cas ran down the sidewalk. Dean shouted his name but it was no use. Cas was gone; and he would never see him again.


	5. June 6th, 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now the story really begins and Dean comes to visit Sam in California, present day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, Halley is pronounced like Hailey..

June 6th, 2015

"You're sure it's okay we visit you and Jess?" Dean questions slightly nervous. Sam laughed through the phone.

"Dean, we are ecstatic to have you and Halley over! I haven't seen her since we visited last year." Sam said and Dean sighed.

"I just don't want to intrude... Do you even have enough room for her and I? Is your apartment even baby proof?" Dean asked, frantically. He was already nervous enough about taking his two year old on a plane with him to California but he doesn't want to bother Sam and Jess with his daughter and his presence.

"Don't worry Dean, everything will be fine. Stop freaking out, we'll get everything covered." Sam assured with a chuckle. Dean nodded.

"Alright, fine. Well I'll see you late tomorrow then, Sammy. Okay?" Dean said, picking Halley up from the ground and holding her on his hip. 

"Bye Dean, I'll see you then." Sam chuckled, hanging up. Dean sighed.

"You know I hate planes right?" Dean said, turning to Halley but she just smiled and hugged Dean's neck. "I'm only doing this for you."

"Daddy.." She gurgled and Dean smiled. That night he packed everything they needed for a week in California. 

~~~

"Jess, what time did Dean say he was getting in?" Sam asked, yelling through apartment.

"He said five. Did he call you when he left?" Jess asked. Sam walked into the kitchen to see her and their best friend Castiel sipping coffee. Castiel had wide eyes as he stared at them. 

"Dean? You're brother, Dean?" Cas questioned, setting his mug down. Sam and Jess looked at him with confused expressions.

"You know him?" Jess questions. Cas gulped and looked down.

"We uh... went to high school together? He was a year older than me.." Cas answered not looking them in the eyes.

"Alright.." Sam said, trailing off. "That's it? Were you friends or something?" Cas thought for a moment and knew lying to his friends would get him nowhere.

"Umm... We dated, for I don't know a while." Cas mumbled but Sam heard him loud and clear.

"You guys dated?" Sam shouted at him, making Cas and Jess flinch. "You dated my brother and never bothered to tell me that?" Cas just shrugged at him.

"Did it end badly?" Jess said softly and Cas looked up at her quickly. He had to lie, he couldn't let them know about their huge fight and Cas walking out on him. Obviously Dean hadn't left Kansas and probably didn't go to college and Cas was right but he didn't want to offend Sam by saying all this about his brother. 

"No, we just broke up. Ya know, just a normal break-up." Cas said with a shrug, trying to play it off as if he had not been a complete wreck after leaving Dean and a few years ago he had finally forgotten about the boy, letting his brain push those memories with him to the back of his mind. 

"Okay, well I hope it won't be awkward for you guys. I mean you're big boys, you can stand being around each other for a week or so, right?" Sam said and Cas just nodded, not knowing if he could actually do that. 

~~~

The plane landed at around 4:30 and once Dean and Halley got off, Dean called Sam from baggage claim to tell him they landed. Sam told them that they were already there at the airport to pick him up. Eventually they found Sam and Jess and Dean engulfed Sam in a huge bear hug as Halley hugged Dean's leg, too shy to say hello.

"It's so good to see you Sammy!" Dean cheered, clapping a hand on Sam's back. He pulled away as Sam bent down to say hello to Halley. 

"Hey baby, remember me? It's Sam." Sam greeted happily but Halley just hid behind Dean's legs. Sam smiled and Halley waved timidly. Jess smiled down at her before hugging Dean.

"Hey Jess, how's it going?" Dean said, hugging her tightly and kissing her on the cheek. 

"It's good. Actually a bit of a weird morning, I heard you had a secret boyfriend in high school." Jess tries to joke but Dean's face went pale. 

"What?" He asks, shocked. Sam stood up straight to look down at Dean.

"What, are you already forgetting things in your old age?" Sam jokes with a laugh, "Castiel Novak? Ring a bell?" Dean stared at them with the most wide eyed, scared look Sam had ever seen on his older brother's face.

"He lives across the hall from us, he's like my best friend in the world." Jess tells him, with a chuckle. Dean just stares at them for a moment longer before Sam is waving a hand in front of Dean's face.

"Cas? C-Castiel?" Dean asks, not having that name roll off his tongue in almost ten years. Sam quirks an eyebrow at him

"Yeah? I'm sorry, did I miss something else? Cas said it ended fine between you two." Sam said with knitted eyebrows. Dean scoffed but just shook his head.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I mean, it's been ten years." Dean chuckles. "Anyway, I'm exhausted, can we go?" Dean asked politely. Sam smiled at him and lead the way to his car. Dean reached down and held Halley's hand as they walked to the car. 

"You are too cute Halley." Jess cooed as Dean put her car seat in the backseat. 

"Yeah, she's also a pain in the ass." Dean groaned, pretending to be mad but he had a fond smile on his face as he looked over at Halley staring up at him. "Love you Halley." Dean told her.

"Love you Daddy." She responded shyly, staring up at Sam like he was a big, scary giant. Well to be honest, he was.

"Okay, we're set." Dean sighed, lifting Halley up and placing her in the car seat, buckling her up and moving to sit in the back next to her. After about a half hour drive, talking about Dean's job and Dean asking them about their jobs, they finally arrived at Sam and Jess' apartment. 

Sam and Dean grabbed the luggage while Jess carried Halley into the apartment first, opening the door to be met with a wide eyed Castiel.

"Well damn Jess, you were gone two hours and come back with a child?" Cas joked. Jess laughed and set Halley down, just for her to try and walk out the door. "No, but seriously, who's child is that?" Cas questioned, genuinely confused.

"She's Dean's." Jess answered with a smile but Cas' jaw just dropped.

"What?" Cas practically shouted, "No, really Jess, who's kid is that?" He asked a bit frantically. 

"Cas, it's Dean's. He has a daughter. There's a photo of her on the fridge." Jess answers, gesturing to the kitchen. Before Cas can say anything else, Sam and Dean are entering, laughing at some joke. Cas freezes as he sees Dean set a bag down. This Dean was not the eighteen year old Cas remembered. This Dean was gorgeous. Cas knew Dean was beautiful and everything in high school but this Dean was an absolute sex god. Cas cringed at the idea of Dean being a sex god. Cas couldn't take his eyes off him though. His shoulders were broader and he looked even taller somehow. He had stubbly facial hair and everything seemed different about him. Except his eyes; they were still that breathtaking green. Cas then realized that he knew this because Dean was staring right back at him from a few feet away.

"Cas.." Dean spoke, voice deeper than in high school.

"Hello, Dean.." Cas choked out, in complete shock over this whole ordeal.

~~~

Dean almost choked on the air he was breathing at the sight of Cas. He wasn't the scrawny but beautiful Cas he knew in high school. This Cas was hot. This Cas was absolutely breathtaking. His eyes were just as blue and beautiful as well. Hearing his silky smooth voice snapped him out of it though.

"So you have a daughter?" Cas questions.

"Uh yeah," Dean looked around to see Halley hiding behind his legs. He gripped her little hand and walked her closer. "This is Halley," He told Cas before turning to Halley, "Say hi, Halley."

"Hi.." Halley said in a small voice. Cas waved timidly and she just stared up at him before looking back to Dean. Dean raised her eyebrows at her. Usually she wouldn't have even spoke. She usually just waves and hides behind Dean again. 

"Halley? Like... Halley's comet?" Cas questioned, looking over at Dean again. Dean smiled shyly.

"Yeah.." Dean chuckled breathlessly, "How'd you know?"

"If anyone knows how much of a space nerd you are, it's me." Cas answers and the retort comes so natural it shocks Cas a bit. It's like they were best friends again in high school, teasing each other like always. Dean blushes slightly before looking down. Sam cleared his throat before breaking the silence. 

"So, shall I show you to your room Dean?" Sam questioned and Dean just nodded, picking his bag up and extending his arm for Halley to curl her hand around his finger. They both followed Sam through the living room and into the hallway. Sam opened the door to the only room on the right, swinging it open for Dean to see the queen sized bed and nice sized room. 

"This is nice, Sammy." Dean complemented, looking around at the room. It almost looked like a little hotel room. Sam smiled and set Dean's luggage on the ground next to where Dean had set his bags down a moment before. Dean looked down to see Halley yawning. 

"Is It nap time, Halley?" Dean asked her and she nodded, yawning again. Sam smiled at her fondly as Dean lifted her up onto his hip. 

"I'll leave you guys alone to nap for a little but we're going to dinner in about an hour so I'll wake you up then." Sam said, waving at Halley before leaving and closing the door. 

~~~

"Why didn't you tell me Dean had a kid?" Cas demanded, almost a bit angry at Jess.

"What? Why are you blaming me? You didn't even tell me you guys dated!" Jess shot back, still making sure they kept their voices down. This apartment had paper thin walls.

"It never came up!" Cas snapped and then groaned. "Ugh, he's married and has a kid and I am just a loser. I'm so embarrassed, Jess." Cas ran his fingers threw his tossled hair. Jess shook her head and averted her gaze.

"Cas, Dean's not married.." Jess said softly and Cas lifted his head in questioning. "Well he was going to be married to Halley's mom, Ava.. But she died in childbirth..." Jess told him and Cas' jaw dropped.

"Oh my god.." Cas whispered, completely shocked. Dean must have been through so much. "I can't even imagine..." Cas mumbled.

"I know... I mean they had only met a couple years before it all happened when they were in college but-" Jess started explaining.

"College? Dean didn't go to college." Cas told her, eyebrows crinkled. Jess made a face, raising an eyebrow.

"Cas, Dean went to college. He got a teaching degree." Jess told him and Cas just stared at her. "Cas? You there?"

"What? What do you mean he went to college?" Cas questioned.

"What do you mean what do I mean? He went to college!" Jess laughed, not understanding why Castiel wasn't getting it. "Are you feeling alright Cas?"

"Jess, all he ever said in high school as that he wasn't going to college. He told me countless times. Every time I mentioned Stanford he just rolled his eyes, he though college was stupid." Castiel told her.

Jess just shrugged, "Maybe something changed his mind."


	6. Diner Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all go out to the diner and a lot of things come up in conversations and it ends all cheesy with Dean trying not to think of Cas but how can he think of anything else?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> srry if theres mistakes I'm exhausted and I barely proof read this

About an hour later Dean walked out of his room, rubbing his eyes and Cas couldn't help but to smile fondly before shaking his head. Cas could not fall for this guy again, he was an adult and Dean had a kid. Dean was obviously over their dumb high school relationship. 

"Hey sleeping beauty, you have a nice nap?" Sam teased as Dean ran his fingers through his hair.

"Shut up, you bitch." Dean groaned, smirking at Sam.

"Daddy, that's bad." Halley spoke up, making Dean turn around on his heels. 

"Oh baby, I know. I'm sorry." Dean crouched down so he was at eye level with her. "Daddy didn't mean to say a bad word but Sammy is a little shit." Halley giggled at him, not really knowing what she was laughing at and lifted her arms up, letting Dean lift her up onto his hip before they both entered the room completely, sitting down next to Sam at the dining room table.

"So are we ready to go eat?" Sam asks Dean and Dean looks up from Halley.

"What? Oh yeah food, that'd be good." Dean yawns, making Halley yawn with him and Cas tries not to smile so fondly at her.

"Yeah, we all love this one diner about a block away. I want Mr. Dean Winchester to try out their famous burger." Jess jokes, making Dean's eyes widen.

"Oh man, I want a burger." Dean says, making them all giggle. Dean quickly gets up to get changed and leaves Halley in the arms of Jess. 

"Why can't I hold her?" Sam questions, pouting slightly.

"She doesn't like you. You're too tall." Jess teases, letting Halley look at Jess' watch. After a moment, Halley becomes impatient and squirms out of Jess' arms. She runs over to Cas who was seated across the table and pokes him in the leg.

"Wanna show you sometin." She says, gripping Cas' finger. Cas raises his eyebrows. 

"Me?" He questions. She nods.

"Wanna show you sometin." She repeats. "Come 'ere." She says beginning to step away, still gripping Castiel's fingers. Cas looks over to see Sam and Jess very intrigued. 

"Wow, she can't even look at me." Sam complains. Halley tugs on Cas' fingers, making Cas stand and follow her as she walked as fast as she could with such little legs. She led Cas to the guest room where she looked up at Cas expectantly. 

"Open the door, please?" She asked and Cas smirked. He knew Dean was on the other side of the door probably trying to get dressed so he just bent down.

"I can't open it, your Daddy is in there." Cas tells her, almost choking on the word daddy. "He's getting dressed. Come on, why don't we wait out here for him?" Halley looked at him with wide eyes before pouting.

"I wanna show you Daddy.." She pouted.

"One second!" Dean shouted through the door, pulling a shirt on his torso. He swung the door open to see Halley gripping Castiel's fingers with her hand and he couldn't help but think it was just about the cutest thing he'd ever seen. Cas looked up at Dean and tried not to look him in the eye.

"This is my Daddy." Halley said to Cas, pointing up at Dean, making Dean chuckle.

Cas nods at her, "Yup, that's your Daddy. I know that." Cas says, a bit uncomfortable being so close to Dean.

"I wanna show you sometin." Halley said again, beginning to pull Cas somewhere else.

"No no no, c'mere kiddo." Dean grabbed Halley and she let go of Cas' fingers, making confused sounds. "We are going to go eat supper so we have to put our socks and shoes on." Dean tells her and she nods.

"I know." She tells him and he laughs.

"Oh you know?" Dean asks, walking over to the bed and setting her down to pick out socks for her. Cas lingers in the doorway a second before walking away. Cas couldn't believe that this was Dean's life. Dean went to college, met a girl and had a kid with her; and now he sadly was raising this kid all alone without a mother. What itched at Castiel's mind though was the fact that after all those times of Dean telling Cas he wasn't going to college, he all of sudden goes and graduates with a teaching degree. It was confusing and Cas had to figure what had changed his mind. 

~~~

After a few minutes Dean and Halley were ready to go and they all had agreed they would just walk the block to the diner. So they all walked down the steps, Dean taking a lot longer to walk down because Halley insisted she could walk down them herself and then proceeded to take at least five seconds to step down onto each step. Dean held her hand as the walked and everyone else waited at the bottom of the staircase. Thankfully Jess and Sam only lived on the second floor or it would've taken a lot longer than anyone of them wanted.

Eventually they were seated in a booth at the diner and looking at menus. Dean had already knew what Halley wanted but he still let her look as she sat on his lap.

"I want this." She said pointing at macaroni and cheese and Dean shook his head with a smile knowing she didn't even like mac and cheese. 

"So Dean how is teaching at this new school?" Jess questioned, sitting next to him. Dean looked up and chuckled.

"Oh it's fine, I mean I have a lot more classes and I think it's cause-"

"The students have little crushes on you." Sam interrupted, smirking at Dean. Dean made a face.

"It's so weird, I teach juniors and seniors and they think just cause I'm young I'll be into them or something. It's weird." Dean says and Sam throws his head back laughing. 

"Shut up you... jerk." Dean says, censoring himself for Halley.

"Sorry," Sam apologizes, trying to stop giggling, "but other than that, it's a good school right?"

"Yeah, the students seem to really like my lessons." Dean says, nodding.

"Are you sure it's not just because when you write on the bored they can see your cute little ass?" Jess comments, Sam nudging her.

"Hey! I'm the attractive one here!" Sam says, earning a laugh from everyone, even Cas. Dean looked over to see Cas trying not to laugh out loud and doing that breathy laugh he always used to do. Dean smiled at him but quickly shook his head, looking down. He couldn't trust Cas. Cas hurt him, he reminded himself. Before Dean could get too distracted by Cas' laugh, a waitress came over to take their orders.

"Hey y'all. I'm Lisa, I'll be serving you tonight. Can I start anyone off with a drink?" She asked and Cas watched as her eyes glued to Dean. Of course Dean got this attention all the time and Cas braced himself to have to sit through Dean flirting back.

"Yeah, sure. I'll have a coke." Sam started and we went around the circle, Jess going next.

"And you, sweetie?" The waitress winked at Dean and Sam tried not to snicker at this but Dean looked unfazed as he bounced Halley on his leg and she held onto his hand.

"Uh, just a chocolate milk and a small glass of water, please?" Dean said and Halley smiled.

"Chocolate milk." She gurgled and Dean nodded.

"That's all, babe?" The waitress asked, pressing her chest out and Cas found it genuinely pathetic. Dean wasn't paying attention as he told her that that was it. Cas then ordered, a bit more bitter than he would've liked. The waitress walked away with a smirk, swaying her hips as she left.

"Well damn." Sam chuckled. Dean looked up at him confused.

"What? Was I rude?" Dean asked and it made Cas' heart flutter to think Dean was worried about him coming across as mean. Sam laughed though.

"No, you didn't notice?" Sam asked and Dean just raised an eyebrow. "She was blantely flirting with you Dean." Dean raised both eyebrows. "You didn't notice?" 

"Come on man, she wasn't flirting with me." Dean scoffs, then continuing a bit quieter, "No one wants to be with somebody with a kid." Jess looked at him with sad eyes for a moment before the waitress came back with the drinks.

Everyone thanked her as she set the drinks in front of them and then she slipped a beer to Dean. Dean raised his eyes at the bottle. "Oh, no. I didn't order this." He informed her and this time he caught her wink.

"It's on the house, cutie." She told him and Cas had to refrain from groaning. These pet names were going to give him cardiac arrest. She walked away again and Dean sighed. 

"Does anyone else want this?" Dean offered and Sam quirked an eyebrow at him. "What? You think I'm going to drink tonight?" Dean questioned and Sam shrugged.

"I don't know I just figured you'd drink a free beer. It's not like it's going to get you drunk." Sam reasoned but Dean shook his head, pushing it towards Sam. 

"I'm not drinking." Dean said finally before adding, "Plus I don't want to drink some beer from this random girl flirting with me." Sam laughed before picking up the beer to take a sip. He looked down at the napkin and his face broke out into this huge grin.

"Ooo, look at this Jess!" Sam said, picking up the napkin and trying not to laugh. Jess looked at it and her jaw dropped before she began trying to hold in her giggles.

"What?" Dean questioned, trying to look but it was quiet hard with a child on his lap. 

"Oh my god.." Jess said, breathlessly. Sam was on the verge of tears as he showed Dean the napkin. In loopy lettering it read "Call for a good time." and then a phone number. Dean blushed just reading it. Sam passed it to Cas but Dean grabbed in before Cas could read it and crumpled it up. 

"Shut up Sam." Dean snapped as Sam laughed. 

"Shut up Sam.." Halley copied, giggling when Sam laughed even louder.

"No, Halley, don't say that." Dean scolded, mad that he had kept saying rude things when she was right there to absorb everything. Halley smiled and then proceeded to squirm out of his arms and sit on the booth in the large gap between him and Cas. Dean didn't have time to protest before the flirty waitress Lisa was back. 

"So are you guys ready to order?" She asked them and again they went around the circle. 

"We want, chicken strips and fries. Just the adult meal, please. Oh and a bacon cheeseburger!" Dean ordered and Halley pouted. Lisa turned to Castiel last.

"Mac and cheese, please." He ordered and Halley brightened up as Lisa began to leave.

"Mac and cheese!" Halley squealed.

"Shhh, no baby, we're eating something you like. Castiel is eating mac and cheese." Dean says, trying to explain to her. Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean for calling him Castiel but Dean didn't notice. It was odd for Dean not to call him Cas, but Cas figured that Dean must not be totally comfortable being around him again. Conversation died down for a moment as Jess and Sam whispered to each other about whatever couples whisper about and Dean was just watching Halley try to use the crayons on the table to color on a napkin. Castiel suddenly thought of the perfect conversation.

"So Dean, what do you teach?" Cas began before asking him the question he was really itching to ask. Dean looked up at him for a moment before averting his eyes to the napkin that Halley was drawing a flower on. 

"I teach astronomy." Dean says and Cas' eyebrows raise. He found it very endearing that even after all these years Dean still had a passion for astronomy. 

"Wow, that's perfect for you." Cas chuckled and Dean nodded, still not looking up at him. Cas felt a touch of uncomfortableness in Dean's posture. 

"Yeah.. It's really fun." Dean answers.

"So I remember in high school you never wanted to go to college, but you did end up going. What changed?" Cas asked, making Dean look up at him for a long moment. His green eyes bore into Cas. Sam and Jess also seemed to interject themselves into this conversation as well.

"Yeah, Dean. What happened? You never told me." Sam questioned. Cas tilted his head as Dean stared at him with this look in his eyes that was so hard to decipher. It almost looked like hurt.

You left me. Dean wanted to shout. He wanted to scream at Cas for asking him that. You left me alone and all I could think was go to college and one day show Cas that I can grow up. Dean averted his eyes again and swallowed thickly.

"I just thought I should. I figured, why not?" Dean answered and he felt like everyone could see through the bullshit he told them. Sam and Jess nodded but Cas still stared at him. "What?" Dean snapped at Cas when he still felt his eyes on him and Cas quickly looked away. After a moment, Jess started telling Dean about what's it like working in the hospital and told Dean about how all the patients loved Cas. Cas blushed at this and willed her to shut up. Cas did not want her telling Dean anything about himself because clearly Dean wasn't even interested in speaking to Cas. Dean nodded though and laughed at her little jokes. 

"I thought you wanted to be a doctor?" Dean questioned all of a sudden. Cas looked up at him shocked.

"H-How did you remember that?" Cas asked him and Dean chuckled.

"What? What do you mean? I'm not just going to forget you telling me you wanted to be a doctor." Dean told him and Cas' heart probably visibly fluttered at this. Dean remember even some little fact about Cas from probably junior year. Sure he had said he was going to med school but he only said a few times that he wanted to be a doctor.

"Well I just thought you would forget about me, ya know?" Cas said, chuckling nervously and Dean tilted his head at this. Cas quickly went on before Dean could say anything else, "But really I just realized that I wanted to interact with people more and help make people's days better. I work in the cancer ward and I get to cheer up a lot of people. It's very nice getting to do good for people." Cas said honestly.

Dean smiled fondly at this and it made Castiel's heart stop, he swore. Dean just nodded with a noise of approval before turning back to Halley and seeing her drawing. Eventually the food came and Lisa must have given up on Dean because she just placed their food down and walked away. 

Dean pulled the plate of chicken fingers and fries towards him and he started by breaking a strip in thirds. He handed one of the pieces to Halley and she took it from his fingers. "Is it good?" He asked and she nodded.

"I want mac and cheese." She said to Dean, pouting at Cas' huge mountain of the stuff on his plate. 

"We'll have mac and cheese tomorrow okay. Tonight you're going to have chicken and fries." He told her, handing her a french fry which she took, biting into it. Cas watched as Dean went back in forth from breaking a chicken strip in half and biting into his burger. It was quite cute seeing Dean with Halley and Cas felt a strong longing for him in that moment. Cas knew Dean had moved on from him but he couldn't help in that moment to just sit back and watch them together as he ate. About two minutes into the meal and Halley was staring up at Cas with wide green eyes. Cas looked down at her as she scooted closer, Dean too in love with his bacon cheeseburger to notice.

"Do you like mac and cheese?" She questions, clasping her fingers together in her lap. Cas smirked down at her and nodded.

"Yeah, it's good." He smiled, knowing what she wanted. He reached for the other fork they gave him and scooped up a forkful of macaroni. "Would you like to try some?" He asked and her face light up brighter than he'd ever seen. It was almost comical.

"Yes please." She said, sitting up straighter as he chuckled at her. Dean looked over at Halley just in time to see Castiel feeding her a forkful of mac and cheese from his plate. Halley chewed it happily and smiled up at Cas, making him giggle.

"Do you want a chicken strip?" Halley offered and Dean bite back a smile at them. Cas smiled brightly down at her and handed her the fork which she grabbed immediately. 

"No, I'm good. But you can share this with me if you like." Cas offered and Halley did a little shimmy like what she did when she was excited.

"Okay, but I gotta ask my Daddy." She said seriously, turning to see Dean already looking down at her. "Daddy, can I share his mac and cheese?" Halley asked, pointing at Castiel.

"Did Cas say it was alright?" Dean asked and Cas smiled at him as Halley nodded. "Okay but you have to finish this first." Dean said, handing her half a chicken strip and she bit into it happily. 

"Aw you guys are like a big family." Jess cooed, making Dean freeze. He immediately thought about Ava. How they never got to be a family together. He also thought about how he did want a family with Cas... until he left him for bigger, better things. Dean swallowed thickly as his heart sunk, thinking about all the times the universe didn't want him in love.

"I got to go to the bathroom.." Dean said, getting up and quickly walking to the restrooms.

"Jess..." Cas warned. Jess quirked an eyebrow.

"What I was just joking?" Jess said, not realizing that Dean had probably wanted a family with Cas before he packed up and left without a goodbye. 

"Jess... His girlfriend died a few years ago, leaving him with a child. I'm sure he doesn't want to think about big families and all that." Sam reminded and Jess' confused face quickly turned to horror.

"Oh no, Sam I'm horrible!" She groaned. 

"Where's Daddy?" Halley asked and Cas looked down at her as she sat so close she was practically pressed against him. 

"He'll be back Halley, he just had to go potty." Sam answered and Halley looked over to Cas for conformation. Cas nodded and smiled at her. Halley smiled at him and dug her fork into his macaroni again. 

"Why did you and Dean break up?" Sam questioned. "I mean he never told me about you at all so... What gives?" Cas cringed slightly. 

"Can we-" Cas started but Dean was heading back to the table. Cas, lowered his voice, "Can we talk about that another time, please?" Dean slid into the booth and kept his head down, eating his burger in silence. Sam got the message and changed the subject for him.

“So how’s Charlie?” Sam asked him and Cas smiles. Charlie was his roommate and Cas’ best friend. Jess and Sam were a close second but Charlie has been there for Cas for years before Jess and Sam came into the picture. Right now, she was in New York to visit her sister.

“She’s great, I think she might’ve met someone though.” Cas said, frowning slightly.

“Oh come on Cas, everyone is bound to meet someone.” Jess tells him and Cas shrugs. Dean tuned into their conversation at the mention on someone he didn’t know. Also the fact that Cas seemed bummed about this girl meeting someone else was confusing. Dean was pansexual but he knew for a fact Cas was gay.

“Wait why is it bad that she found someone?” Sam questions, Dean wondering the same thing. Cas and Jess sighed.

“Don’t you pay attention?” Jess questioned, sighing again and Sam glared at her. 

“Shut up. I mean Cas, why do you care if Charlie gets a girlfriend?” Sam asks and Dean becomes even more confused why Cas would care.

“Because Sam,” Cas says, like it’s obvious. “All my friends are in relationships. All the guys I know are either douchebags or straight. Usually both.” Cas said and Sam laughed loudly and even Dean had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. Halley even laughed just seeing everyone else laugh. Cas continued though, “I just feel like I’m all alone, you know? All my friends have a number one person they go to. Like, Jess, maybe I’m your best friend but Sam is the number one person in your mind. He knows everything about you and I’ll never be first. And that’s totally fine! I guess I just… I want something like that. Even if were just best friends.” Cas shrugged, taking a chicken finger from Dean’s plate and eating it before realizing he can’t just do that. Dean looked up at him, in this way Cas couldn’t describe. Cas blushed hard. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“No it’s fine..” Dean said softly, still staring at Castiel before averting his eyes and shaking his head. Halley scooted towards Dean and climbed into his lap, Dean wrapping his arms around her tiny frame. He kissed her head lightly and she reached for a fry. 

“So, what? Charlie was like that with you?” Sam questioned, making Cas snap his head to him. 

He shrugged, “I mean, yeah. We’ve been friends since I moved her and we’ve lived together ever since. If she got a girlfriend, she’d move out and leave me there. I don’t wanna be left alone.” Cas pouted, jokingly. Jess reached forward and pinched his cheek.

“Aw my poor baby. Don’t worry.” She giggled, but continued. “You’ll find a guy who won’t leave you.” Jess winked and Dean looked up at them, feeling kind of guilty. Of course, he wasn’t the one who actually left but the fact that Dean could’ve left him must’ve hurt Cas. 

Castiel heard this and felt incredibly guilty. No one wants to be left behind and he did exactly that to Dean. Why did Dean have to look so god damn beautiful right now? Cas could never get him back but that was all he wanted in the last ten years. 

~~~

Eventually they all finished and it was getting close to seven o’clock. Halley had to get to bed so Sam paid for them all and they began to walk home. They said goodbye at their doors and Cas left to go to his own apartment as the rest of them walked into Sam and Jess’ place. Dean said goodnight to Sam and Jess as they went into their room to watch TV. He trudged into the guest room, thoughts still on Cas. He didn’t want to think about him. Not at all, but here he was. Constantly in his mind, running around and wreaking havoc. Dean set Halley down in the room and absentmindedly helped her change into her pajamas. 

“I’ll be right back..” He mumbled to her and went into the bathroom to change. Running his hand though his hair, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. You can’t trust him, Dean, he left you, he reminded himself. Dean huffed, tugging his shirt off and replacing his jeans with sweatpants. Absentmindedly he climbs into bed with Halley and she climbs on top of his chest to fall asleep. Dean slowly drifts off to sleep with thoughts of Castiel lingering in his mind, regrettably.


	7. Trust Cas?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Sam go out sight seeing while Castiel and Jess babysit Halley. Cas gets an email from an ex-boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been updating but it's summer so hopefully I'll be knocking out some chapters.

Castiel had to tell Jess. The email he woke up to this morning at 8 was enough to make him want to strangle somebody. He slipped a shirt over his bare chest and ran across the hall in his pajama pants and tee shirt, not even bothering to fix his bed head. He bursts through the door and steps in. The sight he sees almost knocks him off his feet; Dean, stood in the kitchen, shirtless. Castiel hadn’t seen Dean shirtless since high school and Dean has definitely been working out. Dean had his back towards him for a moment, showing Cas his broad, muscular back. Cas felt heat rush to his cheeks and neck as Dean turned to see Castiel in the doorway. Dean looked a little shocked but Cas was not looking at his face. His chest was hairless and beyond beautiful. Castiel couldn’t even help staring at his chiseled, tan skin.

“Cas? What-What are you doing here?” Dean rasped, like it was the first thing he had said all morning. Dean had his breath taken away as well. Cas looked beautiful with his thin white tee shirt and sexy bed hair. Dean couldn’t help but feel like it was high school again and they were waking up next to each other, staring into those bright blue eyes. Cas looked choked up as Dean spoke and he finally looked up to look him in the eye.

“I uh… Where’s Jess?” Cas stumbled out. Almost by God’s grace, Jess stepped into the room and saved them from anymore awkward conversation.

“What’s up Cas?” She asks, like Cas always does this. Dean quickly goes back to making his coffee but makes sure to tune into whatever Cas has to say.

“Balthazar emailed me.” Cas said, sounding annoyed.

“Oh my god, he didn’t!” Jess shouted.

“He did! Guess what he said?” Cas practically shouted, sounding like he couldn’t believe it himself. Dean wasn’t too worried about them shouting and waking up Halley, she slept like a log until at least ten.

“Oh no,” Jess groaned.

“He asked me how I was doing. He went on and on about his new job and how much it pays.” Cas told her and Dean was getting increasingly more curious. What? Dean liked gossip.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe him. He’s so pathetic.” Jess groaned, leading Cas further into the kitchen to make him a cup of coffee.

“Who?” Dean questioned. Cas and Jess look up at him quickly. Jess rolls her eyes.

“Cas’ horrible ex. Does he even count as an ex?” Jess questioned and Cas turned red. Dean gulped thickly. Thinking about Cas with other men hurt. Of course Dean had been with other people after Cas left but it was the fact that Dean was the first person Cas had ever been with and it hurt knowing he had now given himself to others.

“I don’t count him. He was just a rebound.” Cas said, and immediately regretted it. He did not mean to tell Jess that.

“From who?” Dean asked and Cas stared at him, turning red.

“Uh.. You?” Cas tried to state but it came out more as a question. Dean’s eyebrows shoot up and he felt speechless. Before anyone could say anything, Sam sauntered in.

“Hey, Dean. I gotta take you sight-seeing.” Sam told him and Dean snapped out of it, looking up at Sam as he patted his shoulder. “You alright man?”

“Yeah.” Dean breathed out. He cleared his throat and continued, “Uh I’d love to go out with you Sammy but it’s kind of hard with Halley.”

“Jess and Cas can stay here and watch her, right guys?” Sam says, looking over to a still shell-shocked Jess.

“Yeah, we can do that.” Jess answers, looking at Cas. He nods as well.

“Yeah, Halley really seems to like you Cassy.” Sam jokes, patting him on the back.

“I mean, are you guys sure?” Dean questions, looking a bit panicked. Dean has probably never left Halley with anyone other than Bobby and that was for a school day, never longer. “Actually, I don’t know if we should. She’s only ever been left with Bobby and that’s only when I teach, which isn’t even for a full school day.” Dean confesses and Jess laughs.

“What do you mean? You’ve had to have left her with a babysitter for a date night or something.” Jess suggests and Cas flinches visibly. He did not want to hear about Dean’s hookups. Dean blushed though and it made Cas confused.

“I uh… I don’t really go out.. on dates.” Dean mumbled, sheepishly.

“What?” Cas practically shouted. They all stared at him with raised eyebrows. “I mean.. People have got to want to hook up with you I mean, look at you.” Cas said, gesturing to Dean’s bare chest and Sam chuckled at Dean’s blush.

“Aw Cassy, you embarrassed him.” Sam teased. Dean punched Sam in the arm.

“Shut up.” Dean mumbled. “I’m leaving, I hate y’all.” Dean says, leaving the kitchen to go to the guest room. Dean went to his luggage and pulled out a dark green tee shirt and jeans to put on. He slipped into the bathroom and started to shower. 

~~~

“Daddy?” Cas heard a small voice call out and Sam chuckled.

“Oh no, I think a little monster’s awake!” Sam called out, walking out to scoop her up. She rubbed her eyes at him and Sam just laughed. Her hair was a mess and her green eyes still looked tired. Her nose scrunched up like Dean used to when Cas woke him up to early.

“Where’s Daddy?” She questioned, yawning.

“He went to shower and get ready.” Jess told her and Halley just shook her head no.

“Daddy doesn’t shower before I wake up.” She said with an air of finality. Sam chuckled at her.

“So you’re the boss of Daddy?” Sam asks and Halley nods, smiling wide. The three of them laughed at her. “I hope she’ll be okay with being left with you two here.” Sam says, turning to Cas and Jess.

“Yeah, two year olds are usually quite attached to their parents, and she only has one.” Jess says, sadly.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine with you guys, I mean, you’re nurses.” Sam says, setting Halley down to run off towards the guest room.

“Back to the important conversation. Balthazar was a rebound?” Jess questions, turning back to Cas. “I mean I know you didn’t actually love him or anything but.. what do you mean he was your rebound for Dean?” Jess asks and Sam raises his eyebrows.

“You needed a rebound from Dean? What happened?” Sam questioned and Cas fidgeted with his fingers.

“Just stuff… Listen, can we talk about this when he can’t walk through the doorway at any minute?” He says, trying not to flush pink. Jess and Sam nod and as if on cue, Dean walks out of the guest bedroom, fully dressed this time.

“Hey, Dean. Where do you wanna go first?” Sam asks and Dean sighs.

"Sammy, I don’t know about this. Halley hasn’t been left alone since school let out and she doesn’t even really know you two. I’m just nervous…” Dean argues and Sam sighs.

“C’mon, Dean. You can’t just sit in my apartment all week. Can’t you just trust that they’ll take care of Halley?” Sam says, practically begging that Dean come hang out with him.

Dean shrugs and mumbles, “Trust Cas? How do I know he won’t just leave?” Dean had no idea where that came from but he didn’t really care. Cas should know how Dean feels. Hearing this Cas’ jaw drops. He couldn’t believe Dean would bring that up in front of Sam and Jess. Cas couldn’t help hearing the hurt in Dean’s voice and seeing the sadness in his eyes, despite his bitter tone. Castiel’s eyes filled with tears but he was not about to make a scene.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Cas says, surprised at how calm his voice sounded. Castiel quickly walked out and to the bathroom.

“Dean? What do you mean?” Sam questioned, knowing the look Dean was pulling. Dean shook his head.

“How about we get brunch first? That something Californians do?” Dean said, plastering on a smile. Sam decided to go along with his brother and soon they were putting their shoes on and saying goodbye.

“Okay, you guys have to watch her, constantly. She might cry once I leave but just put on The Little Mermaid and she’ll be fine. The movie is in my bag, Halley will know where it is. Just..” Dean paused as he lectured Cas and Jess. “Don’t leave her alone, don’t lose track of her. Please, I’m trusting you with my life.” Dean chuckled, but they could tell he was a hundred percent serious. Dean leans down and kisses Halley’s forehead.

“I’ll be back soon, baby. I love you.” Dean tells her and she wraps her arms around his neck.

“Where are you going?” Halley asks, sadness trailing her voice.

“I’m just going to hang out with Sam. I’ll be back later. But for now, you have Jess and Castiel to play with.” Dean tells her, pulling away. She turns around to see Castiel and Jess and she nods.

“Okay..” She mumbles. Dean finally walks out the door with Sam, waving goodbye to Halley and her waving back.

“Alright,” Jess starts, bending down to lift the two year old on to her hip. “Let’s get you some coloring books.” Jess says, smiling wide at Halley. Cas, Jess and Halley searched through Halley’s suitcase and finally found a Frozen coloring book and some crayons.

“Of course Dean would buy her a Frozen coloring book.” Jess says, shaking her head a smiling as Halley sat on the ground, coloring Olaf.

“He always loved Disney princesses.” Cas said with a smile.

“That reminds me, you have to tell me about you and Dean.” Jess tells him, putting emphasis on have. He knew this was coming, that eventually he’d have to spill everything that happened with him and Dean.

“It’s such a long story...” Cas sighed, obviously stalling. Jess rolls her eyes.

"Cas, I have time." Jess tells him bluntly. "Just... tell me everything. Start to finish." Cas opens his mouth to take a deep breath but Jess quickly adds, "Leave out the sex details though, please." Cas laughed at her, crinkling up his eyes. The comment did lighten the mood a bit, so he began with the first time they met. Cas spoke about how nice and sweet Dean used to be. He spoke about when they had their first kiss and a few days later they were on their first real date. 

Castiel told her about the nights they spent together talking about their future and how Dean never wanted to go to college or even leave Kansas.

"And you never thought that was weird?" Jess questioned.

"Well, when I was a sophomore I didn't really think about Dean and how he should've been applying to colleges. But then soon I realized I wanted to leave the state for college and that was when Dean and I started getting serious." Cas said, feeling uneasy.

"We had small arguments about me leaving but Dean always changed the subject or we just dropped it. It wasn't until one night that we had a huge fight because I got an early admission to Stanford and Dean was a senior and still hadn't applied to anything." Castiel looked down at his hands. "We fought for a while and then when it got too heated and Dean practically said he was never leaving Kansas... I stormed out. I drove off and packed all my things up. I had already graduated so I took off and never spoke to Dean again."

"Oh my god, Cas..." Jess whispered. Cas sighed.

"I just walked out on him forever.." Cas whispered back.

"Cas, why would you do that? You loved each other.. It was just a dumb fight." Jess tried to reason, calmly.

"I was stupid." Cas said, throwing his arms up and wiping his glossy eyes. "I was so damn selfish and didn't think about anything but what I wanted... I hate myself for doing that to him." Cas said, voice rough.

"Well maybe you guys can become friends again while he's here." Jess smiles and Cas shrugs. "You know, Sam is trying to convince Dean to move to San Francisco." Cas looks up interested.

"Dean would want to leave Kansas?" Cas asks with a hint of a scoff. Jess smiles and rolls her eyes.

"Well Dean has realized that Kansas isn't the best place to date guys. He got fired from his last school just because they found out he was pansexual." Cas raised his eyebrows.

"Holy crap, was he alright?" Cas asked Jess.

"I mean yeah, he's used to school boards in Kansas being strict about all that but Sam thinks if he moved out to California he'd feel safer." Jess trailed off, looking sad. "He got bashed a few months ago.." Cas' jaw dropped.

"Oh my god! What happened?"

"He was walking home from work a little later than usual and some guys jumped him and dragged him into an alley." Jess cringed. "He was beaten pretty badly but eventually a cop showed up and arrested the guys and took Dean to the hospital. It was pretty bad but obviously he's okay now. Sam and I are just worried it's going to happen again." 

"Now I'm worried, I hope he can move here. San Francisco is practically the LGBT capital of the world." Cas says and Jess nods.

"That's what Sam's going to be mentioning. Hopefully Dean just grows some balls and moves out here." Jess chuckles lightly. They both turn to look at Halley and she was still coloring away at Olaf, happily humming to a nameless tune. 

Jess and Cas switched subjects and talked about work, gossiping about the other nurses. Cas faked laughs and smiles but all he could think about was Dean and how he might actually move here. What would that mean for them, he kept thinking. Cas had gotten over Dean (finally) but Dean was in a committed, serious relationship just two years ago. Dating Dean again was out of the question, and that kind of hurt Cas to know. How was he supposed to be around Dean all the time and not develop feelings for him? An idea snuck into his brain and before he could stop himself, he was blurting it out.

"What if I went out with Balthazar again?" Cas asked Jess and she shot him a look. Jess thought for a second as she went to the kitchen to get everyone a glass of lemonade. 

"Why in the world would you want to go out with him again?" Jess asked, pouring three glasses of iced lemonade into short square glasses. Before Cas could mention that Halley should use a plastic cup, Jess continued. "I mean, he's a total douche. There's much cuter guys at the hospital." 

"Well Balthazar makes a lot of money, we could go on really nice dates." Cas shrugs, going to sit on the couch as Jess brings over the drinks. Halley follows quickly and colors at the coffee table. She sips at the lemonade and flips the page to color in Elsa. 

"Doctors make a lot of money. Besides, don't you care about personality more than the size of their bank account?" Jessica asks him, very confused by Castiel's sudden change of opinion on his ex-boyfriend. 

"Yeah.." Cas sighs heavily. "But I don't know... At least Balthazar is interested in me. None of the guys at work have ever shown interest in going out with me."

"That's because you don't talk to anyone besides me." Jess points out with a smirk.

"I don't know.. I think I'm going to go on that date with Balthazar. At least he actually likes me." Cas says distantly. Jess frowns but doesn't try to intervene. Eventually they put on a movie and the only one's Dean had brought for Halley were Disney princess movies. They put on Tangled and Halley is sat in front of the TV, completely zoned out to the world. Cas pulled out his phone and decided to email Balthazar back.

~~~

"So what's the deal with you and Cas?" Sam asked and Dean almost groaned. He saw this coming but he hadn't fully prepared what he'd say. Dean set his burger down and sighed.

"Nothing. Nothing's the deal." Dean said, unconvincingly. Sam whined and begged Dean to spill so finally Dean lowered his voice and dished out the chick-flick moment. He told Sam everything about how Cas and him dated and even talked about the night Cas left him. He hadn't talked about that night to anyone, not even Ava.

"Wow... Cas just left you?" Sam asked, shocked. Dean nodded and sighed.

"Yes. There, happy now? You know everything." Dean sighed heavily, dunking a fry into ketchup and popping it in his mouth. 

"Why'd you end up going to college?" Sam asked, quietly. Dean's heart panged. He never liked discussing that, how pathetic he was, how he thought going to college would ever win back Cas.

"None of your business, now eat your damn veggie burger." Dean snapped, continuing to eat and for once Sam didn't press.

~~~

"I'm going to the bathroom. Be right back." Jess stood up from the couch and went into the bathroom. Cas had been staring at his phone and wasn't fully aware of her leaving. All of a sudden his phone was ringing. Balthazar's name popped up and Cas felt oddly excited. He knew it was just old memories coming up and that Balthazar was practically addicting. He was cute though. 

Cas stood up from the couch and stepped out the front door into the hallway to answer the call. 

"Hello?" Cas said, nervous.

"Hey Cassie. How are you doing? I'm glad you emailed me back." Balthazar's smooth voice traveled through the phone making Cas feel a bit gushy. His deep voice reminded him of Dean sometimes. Cas shook his head. No. No thoughts of Dean.

"I'm doing really well, thanks. How are you doing?" Castiel asked, knowing well how he was doing.

"I'm great. I just bought another condo. You should come out here sometime. Maybe have dinner with me? I can cook you a nice meal and it'll be just like old times." Balthazar offered. Cas smiled softly thinking of their first date that was actually nice and did a good job of getting his mind of Dean. That's all Balthazar was really, just a way to get Dean Winchester off Castiel's mind. At least the sex was good.

"I'd love that Balt." Cas answered, smiling. They both said goodbye and Balthazar promised to send Cas the details. As Cas hung up he suddenly heard a loud, shrill scream come from inside the apartment. He practically jumped out of his skin. Cas opened the door and ran in to see a blur of Jess as Halley screamed out. 

"Cas, what happened? Oh my god!" Jess shouted, picking Halley up. Halley had glass all over her feet and there was glass and lemonade all over the floor underneath her. Jess winced as she stepped on a large piece of glass. 

'I-I.." Cas stuttered but Jess pushed past him, wobbling a bit as she left the apartment.

"We need to get to the hospital. You call Sam." Jess shouted, wincing again as the glass in her foot went deeper. Cas quickly stumbled to grab his shoes and keys and locked the door fast. He went over to Jess and pulled the sobbing child away from her so she could carefully walk to Cas' car. They somehow got down the stairs and into Cas' car without Jess getting more injured. Cas felt frazzled and panicked. He was just on the phone and now a two year old had glass in her feet and blood was getting all over his car. Halley was screaming in the backseat with Jess trying to calm her down. Cas drove off to the hospital, deciding to tell Dean once they were there. Cas felt even more fear fill his stomach thinking about how Dean would react to his baby girl getting injured. Finally they made it to the hospital and they put Jess in a wheel chair with Halley on her lap. Cas was left in the waiting room.

"Holy shit." Cas sighed out, feeling his knees weaken. He falls back into a plastic chair and sighs heavily. After a moment to calm himself down he pulls his phone out to call Sam. He immediately felt nervous as he dialed Sam's phone number.

~~~

"Cas? What's up? Everything good?" Sam asked. Dean looked over quickly and mouthed for him to put it on speaker. "Cas?"

"Uh... Something happened. It's a bad something." Cas stuttered at. Dean's eyes widened and Sam felt a bit scared.

"What?" Dean shouted. "What do you mean? What happened? Cas?" Dean spoke quickly and looked like he was going to be sick. 

"Dean.." Cas sniffled and Sam felt like Dean would have a heart attack if Cas didn't spit it out. "You both, you have to get to the hospital. The one Jess and I work at." Sam was already changing the direction of the car. Dean felt like he was hyperventilating. "Halley and Jess, they both have... injuries." 

"Oh my god, both of them?! Cas, what the hell?!" Sam shouted, worried even more now. Dean looked like he was having a full blown panic attack.

"I just stepped out of the room for a moment and when I came back, Halley had dropped her glass." Cas explained quickly, worried the Winchesters might get here and kill him. "H-Halley had glass in her feet and hands and all around her and when Jess went to grab her she stepped in glass as well.. I-I'm sorry.." Cas was crying now, worried how Dean was reacting. The whole situation was overwhelming Castiel a lot. In the car, Sam was panicked too, worried how bad these injuries were. Dean had tears in his eyes and felt like he was about to vomit. 

"Cas, we'll be there soon." Sam said shortly, hanging up the phone. "Dean, are you alright?" Sam asked as he speed down the streets.

"No! No Sam, I am not okay! How could they let her get hurt like this? Ugh, I'm going to kill them!" Dean shouted, slamming his hand on the side of the door.

"Shh, there will be no killing. We'll get there and everything will be okay. Halley will be fine, I promise." Sam assures him, almost to the hospital. 

~~~

Castiel sat in the cold plastic chairs, his whole body shaking. It was all his fault and Dean knew that. How could he keep letting Dean get hurt by his actions? Cas wiped a hand down his face as a nurse walked in to the waiting room and called out.

"Castiel Novak?" She said, mispronouncing his name. Cas shot up and looked at her for any signs of what was going on with Jess and Halley.

"Yes?" He questioned, taking long strides to step up to her. The nurse gave him a polite half-smile. 

"Jessica Moore is calling you back. She's all bandaged up." The nurse told him, smiling at him. He suspected he had seen her around the hospital before but he doesn't even work on the same floor as the E.R. 

"Thank you." Castiel replied, just trying to be polite. She led him away to a room full of different curtained off sections. She opened up a curtain and Jessica was seated on a small hospital bed that looked more like a gurney. "Oh thank goodness you're okay.." Cas sighed. "I don't need both the Winchester's killing me today."

"Cas, I'm fine. I just had some cuts and such." Jess chuckles, scooting closer to Cas. "Halley is going to be fine Cas, stop worrying." Cas took a big breath and all he could do was nod his head. Jess reached up and stroked Castiel's arm to try and sooth him. It probably would've worked, if a moose sized Winchester hadn't burst in to the room.

"Jess!" Sam exhaled. He quickly went to her side to inspect her. "Are you alright? What happened? You have bandages on your feet!" He rambled. Jess just chuckled and brought her hand to his cheek.

"You're so adorable." Jess said with a fond smile.


	8. Kiss It Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens in this chapter, mostly angst and a little fluff in the middle. Basically, when things do get good and fluffy, Cas has to screw it all up by going on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter! I only proof-read it once so sorry if there are any mistakes. Comment if you like it and I'll update faster lol

The car ride home was almost silent. Dean sat in the backseat with Halley on his lap. Cas sat there next to him with a sad look on his face. He felt terrible and Dean wasn't making it better. In fact, Dean hadn't looked Cas' way since he showed up at the hospital. He hugged Halley close to him and hasn't put her down since. She sat on his lap now, staring up as Dean whispered to her, secrets no one else could hear. The music was low but everyone was thankful for it so that the ride wasn't absolutely painful. Cas wallowed in his guilt and Dean was glad for how bad he felt. He hurt his baby, and still hadn't explained why or how this even happened.

Once they got home it was around seven pm and Castiel was tired from all this stress. He hugged Jess goodbye and made a swift get away before Dean cornered him and beat him to a pulp. Cas slipped into his apartment across the hall and sighed loudly.

"Shit.." He exhaled under his breath. Castiel had let Dean down so many times. It was almost like it was a trend. He wondered how else he could possible screw over Dean's life.

~~~

"Dean, I know you're upset that Halley got hurt but you can't take it out on Cas." Sam sighed. Dean rolled his eyes as he set Halley down on the guest bed.

"Yes I can Sam. He left a two year old alone with a glass in her reach. What was he thinking?" Dean snapped. He tried to keep his voice down so we wouldn't upset Halley. Sam sighed and shook his head, looking down at his feet.

"What happened between you guys does not matter right now, okay? Cas is one of my best friends and I just want to spend a week with my brother without all this stupid drama. Just drop this attitude, okay Dean?" Sam sassed and wiped a hand down his face. "It's not helping anyone." Sam muttered before he left the room. Dean stood there a moment, sighing. He felt exhausted. He changed into some sweatpants before slipping under the covers to lay next to Halley.

He knew moving to California would be good for them. Especially with Halley about to start school; it'd be good if she could go to a school that would except her father being pansexual. Sam had been talking San Francisco up for months and Dean really thought it was a great idea. But knowing Castiel lives right across the hall from his little brother made Dean nervous. How was Dean not supposed to fall in love with him all over again? He never even really fell out of love with Cas. He was always there, in the back of Dean's mind.

~~~

When Dean woke up the next day, Halley wasn't in bed next to him. Dean looked around the room, eyebrows crinkled together. Dean ran a hand through his hair, probably just making it more messy before he finally got up to look for Halley. The apartment was quiet until he heard a whimper from the living room. Dean turned the corner, worried Halley was hurt again but he came face to face with the image of Castiel and Halley on the couch together. Cas had a first-aid kit on the coffee table and was unraveling the bandage on Halley's foot.

"What are you doing?" Dean grumbled, rubbing his tired eyes. Cas looked up at him and held back a smile at how adorable Dean always looked in the morning.

"Cleaning up her cuts. She said the bandages were hurting her so I'm just re-doing them." Castiel explained. Dean squinted at him before sitting down next to Halley on the couch, watching Cas work. Castiel had this adorable little crinkle in his forehead that Dean found incredibly endearing. Halley held on to Castiel's arm as he began to carefully wipe the cuts.

"Now Halley, I'm going to put a spray on your hands so they don't get infected but it's going to sting a little.." Castiel warned as he shook the bottle.

"No!" She shrieked. "That hurts!" Dean just chuckled at Cas' bewildered face.

"Just let me do it." Dean says, taking the bottle from Cas' hands. Cas blinks at him, wondering when Dean got so good at handling kids. Well, probably when he actually had to deal with one no matter what... Dean took hold of one of Halley's hands and sprayed the anti-infection spray on her little cuts.

"Ahh! Daddy!" Halley screeched and Dean just screeched a girly screech with her, making her giggle until he sprayed the other hand and she screeched again. "Stop!"

"I'm done." Dean told her with a smile and a kiss to her forehead. "All better." Cas smiled at them before reaching for fresh bandages to wrap around the one foot they had to put it on.

"One last thing, Halley. I'm going to put this big band aid on your foot so that it won't hurt." Cas explained simply. Dean watched, almost fondly, as he took care of Halley. Castiel wrapped the bandage around her little foot and then patted it when he was done.

"You're all fixed up little one." Castiel says.

"You have to kiss it to make it better." Halley says, matter of factly. Castiel chuckled but Halley was serious. He shook his head with a smile before looking up at Dean.

"You heard her Cas, kiss it to make it all better." Dean tells him and Cas smirked. Castiel leans forward and kisses Halley's bandaged foot. Halley smiled widely, before scrambling to get off the couch. She carefully walked to their room, staring at her hurt foot.

"She's so adorable." Castiel said, smiling wide. Dean looked over at him before nodding.

"Yeah well she got it from me." Dean said, jokingly sounding so arrogant. Cas looked over at him.

"I think she might've, you should've seen yourself walking in here." Cas tells him.

"Oh yeah?" Dean questions, borderline flirting with Cas like it was his default setting.

"Yeah, you looked like some lost, sleepy kitten." Castiel says, leaning back on the couch. Dean looks at him fondly, a smile brightening his face. A phone ringing interrupts their intimate staring contest and Dean clears his throat as Cas leans forward to pick up his phone.

"Oh it's Balthazar!" Castiel exclaims.

"Your ex?" Dean questions, trying to not sound so bitter but failing. Cas didn't notice though as he shrugs and answers the phone. Dean sighed, hearing him sound so happy on the phone hurt. It hurt a lot more than Dean would've thought.

"Friday sounds great. I can be there by seven." Dean hears Cas say and a pang hits him in the chest. Cas is going on a date with this guy. Castiel has moved on from him and Dean couldn't really handle this right now. Dean stood up from the couch to go check up on Halley. She was sitting in the guest bed with another coloring book (where the hell were these things coming from? Dean really shouldn't have let Halley pack her own suitcase), humming a Disney tune.

"Hey baby girl, whatcha up to?" Dean asked her, trying to forget about Castiel going out with another man.

"Coloring." Halley answered, carefully choosing a different shade of purple. Dean sat next to her on the bed and smiled at her. Sometimes he had to stop and look at her to make sure she was really there. This little ball of sunshine was all his and he couldn't be happier yet more afraid of screwing it up. A knock at the door makes both Dean and Halley look up.

"Hey, do you guys want to go get something to eat?" Castiel asked. He continued when Dean gave him a confused look, "Charlie is still in New York and you know Sam and Jess are out running errands but I just thought we could all go and grab some food." Cas suggests.

"Sure, that okay with you Halley?" Dean asks, looking down at her.

"I want mac and cheese." She answers and Dean laughs at her.

"We can get mac and cheese." Dean tells her.

~~~

"Denny's? Really man?" Dean questions Cas as he parks. Cas turns to him.

"Hey, it's still got that diner charm." Cas sasses, jokingly. Dean laughs and gets out of the car. He unbuckles Halley from her car seat and all three of them walk in to Denny's. They sit down at a booth and Halley wiggles out of Dean's lap to look at her own menu. Cas just sat there, not even needing to open the menu.

"Do you really need to look at the menu?" Cas questions Dean.

"I haven't been here in years." Dean mumbles, looking at the menu like he's never seen it before. Castiel gasps though.

"Charlie and I go here practically every weekend. I'm surprised they haven't learned my name. When was the last time you've been here?" Cas asked him.

"The last time I came here was with you.." Dean said slowly, remembering it.

"It's been almost ten years Dean!" Castiel exclaims and then sits back, surprised at his words. Dean seems to do the same.

"Whoa, ten years..." Dean says quietly. Castiel shakes his head with a chuckle.

"It seems like it was a week ago we were sitting together in the library.." Castiel remembers, looking down at his hands.

"You copying off my homework." Dean says with a smirk.

"How dare you? It was only astronomy." Cas shot back with a dramatic eye roll.

"Oh yeah, whatever." Dean scoffed before a waiter came over and took their drink order. As he left Cas sighed.

"Goodness, does ever person that sees you flirt with you?" Cas questions no one. Dean looks bewildered.

"That guy was not flirting with me!" Dean declares, quite loudly. Cas looks at him with an 'are you kidding me?' face.

"He was practically having eye sex with you." Cas says, with a small smile as he looks down at his closed menu.

"Oh come on, no he wasn't." They both turned to see the waiter coming back with drinks. Dean watched closely as the young man slid over Dean's coke and winked at him. Dean raised his eyebrows and the waiter smirked.

"So are you ready to order?" He asked, blatantly checking Dean out. Cas and Dean looked at each other and Cas rolled his eyes. Dean held back a laugh as he ordered mac and cheese for Halley and a burger and fries for himself. Cas ordered with a sarcastic bite to his tone and Dean laughed once the waiter awkwardly left.

"You showed him, Cassie." Dean told him with a smile. Cas stuck his tongue out at Dean, squinting his eyes at him. They were silent for a moment until Halley spoke.

"Look!" Halley held up her paper menu. She stood up on the booth to lean over and show Cas.

"Cool, what is it?" Cas asked, wondering what he was looking at. It looked like a drawing of a... potato?

"It's you!" Halley says, pointing at the potato shaped figure. Dean chuckled and craned his neck to see the drawing, laughing harder once he saw it.

"That's great baby, spot on." Dean told Halley with a happy smile on his face, kissing Halley's head. Cas pouted.

"I do not look like that." Cas grumbled. Dean laughed at him again. Cas' face softened though as be watched Dean laugh. He was so full of warmth and happiness. Cas wished he could have that. All he could think about was 'how did I walk out on this boy?'. There was a lull in conversation and Cas thought of something.

"When does Halley start school?" Castiel asked. Dean looked up at him.

"Oh she's supposed to star preschool when she turns four which is still about a year and a half away. I still don't know what school she's going to go to." Dean sighed.

"Well Sam has mentioned you moving here as a possibility, right?" Cas questions, taking a sip from his soda.

"Yeah, Sammy's mentioned it a lot. Especially when.." Dean trails off, sighing.

"When you got gay bashed." Cas finishes, really working on the "Dean Winchester Protection Program" right now.

"How do you know about that?" Dean asks him, tilting his head.

"Jess told me." Cas says and leans forward a bit. "Listen, Dean... I know you love Kansas and you want to raise your daughter there, I get it, but... If you aren't safe there then what good is that for Halley?" Castiel questions, genuinely concerned.

"I'm fine, Cas." Dean tried to assure.

"Dean, you got hurt! You were in the hospital." Cas reiterated, trying to keep his voice at a normal volume for public. Dean just sighed.

"I'm thinking about moving here... I just... I don't know." Dean told him, still unsure. He wanted Halley to be safe, of course he did but moving? That was big. At least, for him it was.

"Well you already know people here, your brother's here." Cas paused. "I'm here." Dean looked up at him with this wide, doe-eyed look on his face. "And I know we aren't on the best terms I guess... But we were best friends. I know everything about you." Castiel said, looking into those deep green orbs in front of him.

"You knew me ten years ago." Dean corrected. "I have a kid now. I mean, I'm pretty sure I've changed, man." Cas scoffed.

"Well then I can get to know you all over again. I still know more about you then probably anybody else you could ever meet." Cas said, trying to keep the conversation light. Dean smiled at Castiel and for a second, Cas thought it looked like fondness on his face.

"Yeah you'll always know me best, starry eyes." Dean said smugly. Cas blushed red. He actually blushed. Cas quickly looked down at the empty table, playing with the wrapper of straw. He hadn't blushed like that in forever. He also hadn't heard that familiar nickname in forever. He almost forgot about it.

"Mac and cheese!" Halley squealed, pulling Dean out of the trance Castiel put him in. He was just so adorable, still, even as a grown man. Dean looked up at the waiter, bringing over three plates of food. Cas smiled brightly at Halley's excitement. Halley dug into her food while Dean watched her for a moment.

"You know she never even wanted macaroni before you got it the other night." Dean tells Cas, looking over at where the man is sat in front of a plate of chicken strips and French fries. Dean laughed at his meal. "How old are you Cas? Chicken fingers and fries?" Cas just shrugged.

"Listen, you can get all old and have children but I'm going to be youthful forever." Castiel sasses, taking a big bite out of a piece of chicken.

"Whatever, you dork." Dean mumbled, picking up his burger.

They all finished around noon and Cas got a text from Sam saying they should go to the science museum in San Francisco. Dean perked up at that.

~~~

"I'm really trying to get Halley into science. I know she's only two but I love science and I want her to." Dean babbled as they waited in line to buy tickets to get inside. Dean had Halley in his arms as she clung to his neck. Sam and Jess were in front of them and Cas stood next to Dean. Dean sighed loudly, drawing Cas' attention.

"Halley, you're suffocating me." Dean told her, trying to adjust her on his hip. Halley wiggled around but Dean didn't want to set her down in this crowd. "Jess can you hold Halley? She's practically choking me." Dean chuckled. Jess nodded and held her arms out.

"Nooo.." Halley whined.

"What is it, babe?" Dean asked her. Halley made grabby hands at Castiel, making Cas blink at her, a bit shocked.

"Caaasss.." She whined, pouting at Dean. Dean looked at Cas for some kind of answer.

"Sure, I'll hold her." Cas said and before he could rethink this, Halley was clinging to his shoulders. Cas looked at her face, she smiled widely at him. Castiel thought for a second, he hasn't held this young of a child in years. It was nice. She was warm and her tiny little hands were on Cas' face.

"Cheeks, cheeks, cheeks." Halley said as she patted Castiel's cheeks. Cas filled his cheeks with air and crossed his eyes, making Halley giggle loudly. It felt very nice to him, to make the little girl laugh like that. All the while, Dean is watching with a bright smile.

The five of them finally got to the front and Sam paid for four tickets (under five was free). Castiel could not stop looking at Halley's eyes. They were so bright and green. She was so happy and it made Cas feel so warm inside. Halley looked over at Cas and poked his forehead.

"Your eyes are blue." Halley told him, speaking loudly like most children do. Castiel smiled widely, she was just so endearing.

"Yours are green, like your Dad's." Cas says and Halley smiles. Castiel brought one of his hands up and tickled her side, making her giggle loudly. Dean watched as Cas and Halley laughed at each other and he felt his stomach flip. Cas was so kind to her and for some reason Halley had really come to like Cas, even more than she liked Sam. Cas' eyes glowed bright and happy and blue. So blue.

And in that moment it was as if Dean was in high school again, trying his best to impress this boy who he had fallen in love with. Dean had this light feeling in his chest as he thought about what it'd be like to have Cas back to himself again. Dean and him could raise Halley together and fall in love all over again. Well, did Dean ever really fall out of love? He always had Cas in the back of his mind; always felt like everything came back to him... And those starry eyes.

~~~

They walked through the science museum for almost two hours. Dean had finally dragged them to the planetarium and there they sat in the dark. Halley sat on Cas' lap with Dean leaning over to tell Halley different facts about the constellations. Castiel listened in and practically fawned over Dean's 'nerdy science talk' mixed with his 'I'm a dad now and I have to explain everything' voice. Dean always looked at people with this wide eyed, dewy looking expression when he would talk about the stars. It was very endearing, Cas thought. As they walked out, Dean continued to talk about his favorite names for stars and how light travels and all this other sciencey smart stuff. As Halley began to wiggle, Castiel felt his phone start ringing.

"Dean, my phone's ringing." Cas informed him, passing over Halley to Dean. Castiel pulled his phone out and smiled. "One second, I've got to take this." The group begins to walk to Sam's car and Cas followed a few feet behind. "Hey Balt." Cas smiled into the phone. Dean felt his chest tighten, Cas was just so easily talking to this other man. Dean couldn't help but feel like the man was Dean's replacement.

"Hello Cassie, I was in the area and thought maybe I could pick you up for dinner in a couple hours?" Balthazar offered Castiel. Cas smiled to himself, thinking about the fancy dinners they used to go on all the time.

"I would love to go to dinner, Balthazar, that sounds great." Cas answered and Dean didn't mean to listen in but he wished he hadn't heard that. Dean held Halley closer to his chest and tried to tune out the conversation. Eventually Castiel hung up his phone and joined the group again, walking right up to Jess.

"I know you wanted me to go to dinner with you guys but I'm going to go out with Balthazar." Castiel informed the group. Jess' eyebrows shoot up, whilst Sam locked eyes with Dean.

"Cas, you're going on a date with him? Why?" Jess questioned, eyes wide. Castiel just shrugs.

"He's nice.." Cas answers with a sweet smile but Jess scoffs.

"You never said that before." Jess points out and she pulls Cas a few feet away from the others. Sam turns to Dean.

"You okay man?" Sam asks his brother and Dean adjusts Halley on his hip, sighing.

"I'm fine." He says gruffly, not wanting to admit how he actually feels. How he feels like shit because he couldn't be enough for Castiel but this douche Baltha-whatever is enough.

~~~

"Cas, are you sure you should do this?" Jess questioned. She sat down on Cas' bed, dressed in dark blue sheets and waiting for Cas to come out his bathroom. The walls in Cas' bedroom painted light blue, one wall covered in framed photos and a few framed movie posters.

"Jess, it's not like I'm going to fall apart or something just from two dates with Balthazar." Cas calls from the bathroom as he tries to decide what button up to wear. He steps out to ask Jess' opinion and freezes in the doorway. Jess stood in front of his photos, looking at one of him and Dean that even Cas didn't know why he kept. It was a photo a friend took of them in the library, staring at each other and looking all gooey and in love.

"You guys look..." Jess paused shaking her head, speaking softly. "So in love.. I wish you could've stayed together." Cas sighed.

"I know. I screwed everything up." Cas mumbled, bitterly. Jess sighed.

"No Cas, it's not your fault." Jess tried to defend him but Cas shook his head.

"No, Dean just wanted to stay where he grew up and I couldn't respect that. I messed up." Cas unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off.

"I liked that one." Jess told him, motioning to the shirt. Cas chuckled.

"I don't know.. It's pink and makes me look really gay."

"You are really gay." Jess giggled and Cas rolled his eyes with a smile on his face. Suddenly, a knock came from the door. Cas scrunched his eyebrows and went to get the door, still shirtless because when will Cas ever be aware of proper social skills? He swung the door open and of course, none other than Dean Winchester was standing on the other side. Cas watched as Dean's eyebrows shot up and his mouth opens slightly.

"Oh, right! Shirt.." Cas mumbled, pulling on the button up and starting to button it as Dean got his thoughts together. "Um, what do you need?"

"I just wanted to talk to you.." Dean said, still dazed by seeing Cas' bare chest. It's an intimate thing, seeing someone half naked and Dean hasn't seen Cas naked since he were seventeen so this was definitely a big difference. Dean took a deep breath and looked up at Cas' familiar eyes.

"About what?" Cas tilted his head slightly and Dean's head spun. How could ten years past and this dork still be so endearing?

"Balthazar."

"Balthazar? Why do you want to talk about Balthazar?" Cas questioned, baffled. Dean began to fidget and Cas let him in the apartment. "Hey Jess.."

"Yeah?" Jess came into the living room and stopped as she saw Dean. "Oh hey Dean, did you need me?" Cas looked at Jess with a shrug.

"Um, no... I just wanted to talk to Cas, if that's okay?" Dean asked and Jess nodded, slightly confused.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll be across the hall, I'm sure Sam needs me for something." Jess shut the door behind her and Dean sighed, turning to Cas, nervously.

"You okay, Dean?" Cas asked.

"I just... Why do you like Bathazar?" Dean inquired, causing Cas to take a step back.

"What do you mean? You don't even know him." Cas defended and Dean held his hands up.

"No, I'm not trying to say he's a bad guy or anything but Sam told me he was the guy you first dated when you came to California and I'm just..." Dean tip-toed around the matter at hand.

"You're just what? Are you trying to tell me who to date?" Cas grilled Dean. Dean sighed loudly.

"Cas, I care about you a lot and I don't want you to get hurt." He told him, deciding to tell the true. Cas looked surprised, stepping back. "I want you to date someone who isn't just a rebound from me. You could have any guy on the planet and it seems like you're settling for jerks." Cas was silent. He hadn't heard Dean talk to him like this in years. Dean spoke like Cas was the only thing in the world he cared about and while that wasn't true anymore, it felt like he really meant it. He did't know what to say to him but Dean was waiting.

"You aren't a jerk, Dean." Cas told him and Dean rolled his eyes. "Why would you think you're a jerk?" He asked, bewildered at the thought of Dean thinking he's some dick.

"Why wouldn't I? I couldn't even build up the courage to support you in California. But this isn't about me, I want you to date someone who's going to take care of you not take advantage of you." Dean told him and Cas shook his head.

"Dean, none of that was your fault. And Balthazar isn't taking advantage of me, I'm fine. Now.. I need to get ready." Cas said, firmly. Dean nodded his head, looking down.

"Okay... Well change your shirt, pink has never looked good on you." Dean said with a smirk. Cas laughed.

"Well now you're being a jerk." Cas chuckled, pushing Dean towards the door.

"Hey, don't be mad because I can pull off any color." Dean joked and Cas shoved him out the door playfully.

"Shut up, you idiot." Dean laughed and stood in the hallway, looking at Cas in the doorway.

"You really like him? Balthazar.." Dean asked, looking at Cas with his bright green eyes and kissable lips that still made him weak in the knees. Cas couldn't lie to Dean.

"It's just a few dates, it's nothing serious." Cas told him, shrugging and Dean nodded.

"Well, just.. Have fun." Dean said through a tight smile before disappearing behind Sam's front door. Cas let out a breathe he didn't know he was holding. He knew Dean cared about him but after all these years, it's like they never ended things. Cas shook his head as if to get those thoughts out; he didn't want to think about that as of now. He shut the front door and went back to getting ready for his date.

~~~

Cas had left for his date thirty minutes ago and Jess and Sam had already cranked out dinner and drinks. Usually Dean would not be drinking around his two year old daughter but tonight was an exception. They all ate around the kitchen table, Dean trying to hide his disappoint as he wolfed down mashed potatoes. As Halley was distracted with a puzzle on the floor as the adults finished dinner, Sam decided to pose a question.

"You were lying to Cas, right? When you said you don't go on dates?" Sam asked and Dean looked up, confused. He did not want to talk about Cas tonight.

"No, I haven't dated since Halley's mom." Dean told them, taking a nice big swig of beer. Jess tilted her head to the side.

"Is it because you're still in love with her?" Jess asked.

"Or are you still in love with him?" Sam questioned, but it sounded more like a statement. Dean exhaled, dramatically.

"Guys, it's really none of your business." Dean tried to reason but Sam rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, it is kind of my business. 'Cause if you're still in love with Cas, go after him. Make a move, already." Sam argued and this time Dean rolled his eyes.

"Do you not see the situation? I'm here, drinking beer and eating crappy steak with my kid brother and my daughter. Cas is on a date with some hunky rich guy. I'm pretty sure he's better off without me screwing up his life again." Dean said and Jess and Sam were quiet.

"Dean, it's just a rebound. It's his way of coping; dating the opposite of you." Jess spoke softly.

"The opposite of me?"

"Yeah, Balthazar is short and British. He's a totally douche nozzle that doesn't care about anyone but himself and his bank account. He's nothing like you and that's why Cas was drawn to him. He doesn't actually like this guy, I mean, the guy's a jerk." Sam reasoned and Dean avoided eye contact.

"That's pretty much why I went out with Ava. She was nothing like Cas." Dean mumbled.

"Don't, Dean. Don't make this night harder by thinking about her." Jess said, comforting. "How about we watch a movie? Harry Potter sound good?"

~~~

Two hours later and Dean found himself on the hood of Sam's car. Halley was put to sleep a while ago and Jess and Sam had been cleaning up from dinner when Dean said he needed some air. So of course, here he was, drinking his fourth beer and staring up at the stars. As he counted constellations, Dean's mind focused on the space above him and not on the conversation early tonight. As he stared up at Jupiter, shining bright and big above him, a car drove up and Dean flinched. He looked over to see a dark red Charger pull up and stop, dropping someone off. Hmm, Dean thought, that's a pretty dickish move, just dropping someone off and not even parking. The car door opened and Dean watched as Cas stepped out, waving to the driver before the car sped off. Dean shook his head, the guy really was a jerk. Dean watched as Cas turned and saw him.

"What are you doing out here?" Cas asked and Dean sat up straight and shrugged.

"Watching the stars. You want a beer?" Dean outstretches his arm to hand him his beer but Cas shakes his head.

"I had a lot of wine... What are you doing drinking beer on your brother's car at.." Cas looks at his watch. "Almost midnight." Dean shrugs again.

"I wanna tell you the truth but I'm not sure how that'll go." Dean mumbles and Cas leans on the front of the car.

"Have you ever lied to me?" Cas wondered, not realizing that Dean would answer.

"I tried to when we first met, but it was hard to look at you in the eye and not tell you the truth." Dean said, looking back up to the stars. Cas turned her head.

"I'm sorry.." Cas whispered. Dean turned his head and looked at Cas' shiny eyes.

"For what?" Cas shook his head.

"You know. For walking out. For yelling at you and just... leaving. I don't know why I thought that was okay. I mean it killed me for years. I was so scared that you hated me and that I'd never see you again. Then I met your brother and I was almost scared to see you again." Cas babbled.

"Why would you be scared?" Dean questioned. Cas spoke low and soft.

"Because I knew I hurt you when Sam didn't even know who I was." Cas stared at Dean and his eyes turned glossy, the stars reflecting in his iris'. "I knew you hated me because you didn't even tell your brother about me."

"It did hurt." Dean found himself saying. "It hurt when you left me. I thought.. I thought maybe you were just bluffing." Dean looked away to his hands, fidgeting with the warm beer bottle. "I thought you'd be knocking on my door the next day. And for weeks I thought that until I just had to accept that you were gone."

Cas shook his head, not believing he could hurt someone that much but here they were, the best person he's ever met, telling him how much he hurt him. Cas swallowed, turning to Dean. "How can I make it better?"

Dean scoffed quietly, "It's not a scrap, Cas. You can't just kiss it and make it better." Dean slid off the car and made his way to the apartment building, taking the stairs up to Jess and Sam's apartment, leaving Cas to wallow in his thoughts.


End file.
